49 song inspirations
by mika-niiet
Summary: This is a new project I am starting. It will be oneshots/drabbles based on inspiration by a random or selected song. Pairing will be various and wide, lol. Check it out!
1. Friendship

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Friendship#01**  
Song: **Only One by Yellowcard**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Alice Nine, The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Kai x Nao**  
Rating:** G**  
Genre:** Fluff, friendship  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter who they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Our childhood is coming to an end.**  
Comments: **And here we go. Lol. This is the first one for this project. Based on a song. Though, I will not only make 10. But 49. Yay. Haha, I'm looking forward to writing this. So I hope you'll look forward to reading.  
If I can say so myself.. I'm pretty pleased with this one, lol.

**Rules:**  
**1.** Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like per song. (It can be the same for all or different.)  
**2.** Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle (or choose 10 songs you like and want to use to inspire yourself).  
**3.** Write a drabble/short fic related to each song that plays. You can put the song on repeat to finish the drabble/short fic if you have to (or want to). The song can only repeat 5 times maximum.  
**4.** Repeat this 10 times and then post your results!

Kai's POV

On top of the roof. Where we have been so many times before. Together. Bonding. Gazing down at the city where we've lived for so long. Up so high. The noises of the street doesn't reach up. Only becoming something muffled and not heard of. Only a weak background music to our ears. So many times we have lied flat on our back staring at the ever changing stars. The only thing remaining is the brilliant glow which never changed from star to star.

It's like us. Our childhood is coming to an end. It's not long before I will leave for Tokyo. You'll be here. For some years. Eventually, you too will graduate from this town. Leaving it behind.

We will always leave. Our path in constant change. Under construction. But even so. This friendship we are sharing. This bond we have created. Only between the two of us. Just for us. The best of friends. This will never disappear. Anywhere we go. No matter what happens. We are the stars, always changing and heading in new directions on daily basis. Leaving, disappearing and dying. While the shining glow is our friendship. Staying the same. Close and untainted. Only growing stronger. A happy connection between only us two.

I pick myself up. Bend down and reach my hands out to you. Grinning down at you. With the honest smile I only show you. Grabbing my outstretched, warm and inviting hands. Helping you to your feet by pulling you up as you scramble up to steady yourself. Entwining our fingers. Filling each others space. Dragging you after me, until we reach the end of the roof. Leaning towards the railing. You do the same.

"Nee, Nao.." I begin. My voice cheery and the same smile plastered on my features. "I'll just tell you so you know..." Continuing. You don't interrupt me a single time.

"You're my only one! No one get's me like you do! No one's like you! I'll never forget you!!" Screaming at the top of my lungs. Never stopping to breathe. Pausing would just make it even more difficult. Hoping I am reaching you. It would be great if you were thinking the same. Even just a bit. I knew you were. Cause in the next moment, you scream your lungs out. Trying to reach me as I had tried to reach you.

"You're forever my best friend!!" You swung around. Sparkling eyes. And a thrilling laugh leaving your slightly parted lips. A joyous laugh you let me hear. With both our faces holding the same silly grin.

You grabbed my hands. Spinning around and around in sheer joy. Leaving traces of each other in our hearts. And all the times we've spent together. Memories of all kinds.

I feel a bit broken inside as the time has come for my departure. A one way ticket out from this chapter of my life. I feel like giving up. Just a bit. But it's in there.

But... Your smile fills me with happiness and joy. Hope.

Hey, it's never the end, if you just say 'hello' again.


	2. Hollow pain

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Hollow pain #02**  
Song: **Courage by Superchick**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Dir En Grey**  
Character****:** Die**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Eating disorder, self harm**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** It makes me happy. But at the end of the day. I am all alone.**  
Comments: **Yosh. So I made number 2 (chuckles). I hope it's good. Sudden inspiration in the shower (laughs). This was a song I had decided on before hand. So yeah. Please comment. And I hope it's not _that_ bad!!

I got through this day too. By myself. Telling another lie. It all goes so well. Always knowing what to say. That I don't feel well. Or I already ate. Even though my starved body tells you different.

Some days, I am okay. Without any depression. Filled with brutal anger or a need to reach out for my razor blade in the back of the first drawer in my bathroom. Days I think I look beautiful. Just like you. But the days when I'm not okay. Just a mess curled up. Blood dripping from fresh wounds. As I fall on my knees in front of the toilet. Furiously shoving my finger down my throat. Forcing out what was not there. But I vomited out the acid. Anything that could have snuck down there. I push my finger down so deep. Never able to remove it before the gags are heard and something comes up. Those are the days dominating my life.

I need you all to know. I am never through the night. All those days I am still fighting to walk towards the light. It's never easy. When you don't know anything at all. I use all my strength, just trying to get through each passing day.

Why did I someday feel unbeautiful? Why did I choose not to eat? People say I look stunning. It makes me happy. But at the end of the day. I am all alone. In my apartment. Where I am always left on my own. Inside. Hidden from the outside. The cruel reality. No one hear my cries.

I need someone to tell me this is not alright. I want to cling to someone's arm so badly. I need help. My fucked up mind has figured out that much. But there's no cure for me, right? In this solitude of my four walls.

Gripping my razor by my feet. Scrambling to stand up. Heading for the bathtub. I pull off my boxers covered in blood and stomach fluids. With some consentration I am able to slip into the huge tub. Water filling it up quickly. I turn off the running water. No more sobs. Only tears staining my cheeks. Trailing down the road where other tears have trailed down every day for a long time now. Closing my eyes. Taking slow, deep breaths. I sigh, and the razor cuts deep into my wrist and past all the veins keeping me alive. Once. Twice. Three. Four. Five. Six. Just to make sure.

Secrets are walls that keep us alone.


	3. For now

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** For now #03**  
Song: **The Fear by TRUSTcompany**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Sadie**  
Pairing:** Mao x Tsurugi**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Language**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** I am only yours.**  
Comments: **Came to me as this song played on my way back home (laughs). Wrote it down on my cellphone on the way (huffs). My fingers went all stiff from the cold (shivers). Yup. So enjoy, and comment is like the truest love (chuckles).

Standing here. My soul has gone again. And weakness filled me up. Destroying my self esteem. And all I am is as lost as the stars up on the night sky.

Always when my life comes crashing down. Realities cruel nature descends upon me. And I start to run. Fleeing. I run and run. I let my feet take me where they want. No will to stop them anyway. Finally they stop. And the destination is always the same. By your side.

Clinging on to you with all my strength. Arms wrap around your torso. Clawing you tightly. Pressing our bodies so close no space is left between. My small and fragile body against your tall and scrawny one. Clutching your lean figure. Furiously holding on to you to kill the possibility of you being nothing but my minds illusions. My mind fucking me over again.

Not feeling the cold of winter night. Or registering the snow that falls. Sparkling stars right above us. We stand there. And the only cold I feel is the one inside me. Where my heart used to be. Please. Hold me. Until my heart beat is even. Rapidly slowing down. And these thoughts of despair... and anger is gone. Don't release me before this fear has released me.

For awhile. I'm yours again. So let me stay. Take me in. I lost myself. The touch of what was inside. Relieve me of my fear. I am yours. Like the last time. I am only yours.

To start over. I need you to keep me here. In the deepest part of your heart. Tie me to this world before I find the wrong escape. To ease my pain.

For now, take me in, and I'll be yours, like the last time, for a while.

Is there a way out? Believe.


	4. Idiot love

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Idiot love #04**  
Song: **Idiot Music by Zeromancer**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Alice Nine, The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Shou x Reita**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter who they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Cause they keep ringing in my ears**  
Comments: **Once again. Inspiration came over me as this song played. Lol. Enjoy. Comments are of course loved. Feed me (laughs)!

Shou's POV

I wish you would hit me. Punch me. Let your anger and disappointment out on me. It would feel a lot better than the silence.

Your fist brutally bruising my face. Kicks making my flesh sore and aching. Something like that I can take. Something simple like that won't make me cry. Not the burning tears of pain the words you don't speak make me cry. Cause they keep ringing in my ears. Those shrilling words you don't scream, that cuts me inside. Makes me go crazy from the way it all makes my heart shatter.

All the things you won't say is what's being sucked in. That punch you won't throw, just keep hitting within. Like a dream within a dream, you have trapped me in endless love which can only bring pain.

I only loved you. Acted upon those feelings I hold. Have hold for such a long time I don't even know when it all started. Feelings that don't seem to have an end. With a beginning I can't remember. If it's a cliché, then it's just what you do to me. I am sick of this music.

I feel like an idiot for thinking you really cared.


	5. I am all that’s left

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** I am all that's left #05**  
Song: **All I Have Is Me by Darwin's Waiting Room**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Sadie, the GazettE**  
Pairing:** Mao x Reita**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Language**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** And suddenly, one day, tomorrow or in one week, it will all be gone.**  
Comments: **This came to me as I was listening to music while studying for the social studies test tomorrow (chuckles). I think it might be confusing. But, oh well. I am bond to make it like that, lol. Please read and enjoy.

Mao's POV

Around me are too many walls to count. Layers I have surrounded around me. Still none of them can keep me warm. We always complicate our lives. And everything in it. Throwing it all away. I just wanted to know what was mine. But all I got. Was this echo of my hollow insides.

You take one final look at me. I never knew you kissed me just to say goodbye. Tears that trail down my sickly white cheeks freeze to ice. It's a frozen sacrifice. Where your body's heat is my paradise. But you turned away. With a goodbye I thought was just temporarily.

It's all reality for all that it is worth. Stumbling towards the direction you had headed just seconds ago. My head telling me it's this way. Stumbling forward. I follow in your footsteps. Which I can't even remember anymore. Or the fragrance that once filled my nostrils with the sweetest scent of them all. And I only echo inside. With tears forever frozen to my weary face.

Just like a disease, all the faces I see remind me of you. Empty inside, all I have is this somewhat me. Whatever that is. Whoever that may be. All I have is me, while all I want is you. Want to reach out to touch you. Because they all seem just like you. Why can I not forget you? With only me, inside is only your memory, fading alone. As a mysterious dark mist lay before my eyes. And suddenly, one day, tomorrow or in one week, it will all be gone. Sight along with your memory.

Ever since that day. When you went away. Since then I've only seen myself decay, and it's a core that is rotting. Makes me cry of this nostalgic feeling. You're gone but not forgotten.

Now I can't readjust. To this situation I was thrown into. With legs shivering and finding it hard to stand. It is strange. I can no longer trust in a world that constantly changes. Filled with all disgust, I wish this world would only turn to dust. Nothing ever being anything.

Pain I brought you, what you taught me, I never learned. Still. Even if I won't acknowledge it, we can't escape ourselves or even one another. So how did you do it? Escaping from my side and never returning. Saying it was impossible, and still you managed. Tell me your secret. I can never recover. My love for you that is the sweetest pain.

Rip you out of me. As your memory behind my eyelids slowly fades. But never forgetting. What do I do to forget? Is there a possibility that you'll even come back alive? Reach out and touch me. As I have tried to touch you. Crave you. Your skin beneath my fingers. While you have gone so far you are under mine. If you're pain, then make me your masochist.

Everyone I saw. Thinking they were just like you. Reminding me of you. But they could never be you. Never ever. No matter how I tried to squeeze my eyes together. Narrowed and curling my lips to a smile that wasn't whole heartily true. How could they seem like you? When there's no one like you?

If you're not perfect. I just don't belong on this earth.

Curled up under the window where I let the days pass by. And I eat when someone comes over and force it down my throat. My back against the wall. Knees pulled up to my chest. Hugging myself tightly. Arms wrapped around the knees and hands fisted together. While my head hang low into the abyss I create between thighs and chest. Window always open. Letting a breeze in to fresh up the room. In sunny days or trough storms. It's open just like you like it. Wind coming in to cool heated skin.

The door creaks. Shoes are taken off. As naked feet are slowly heard against my wooden floor. I don't care to even look up. There's not even a strain of curiosity to who it might be. Hope for you to be the one crossing my floor towards my open bedroom where I am seated under the window. Rain slamming against it. Drowning everything else. If it would only drown my thoughts and longings.

I may not see. But I can hear. Feeling someone kneel down to me. That person is shivering. But I won't look up. Not until they force me to. Or say something. Anything. Please speak to me. New tears mingle with the once stained on my face. Making new paths to mess up my already fucked up face. Silently sobbing. It's only inside of me. Cause I don't want to worry anyone further.

Arms wrap around me. And I jerk up. As certain warmth fills me. The long forgotten scent I thought I'd never get to smell again. Or this body pressed against my fragile one. Tugging tightly at me. I can barely breath. Air stuck in my throat. I feel something wet on my neck. Without hesitation. I clutch at you. If even possible. I bring you closer. I suck in your smell. Telling myself I'll never let it leave me again. Maybe I can never see you. But that doesn't matter if you are here by my side. This mist I have never truly hated. For I won't have to look anymore at the things that causes my heart to ache. To just feel you. Hear you. I don't need to see you.

"I missed you..." Is my strangled words I let out through my quivering and slightly parted lips.

"I love you too." Is your only response.

I never could have seen this far. Never saw this coming. Seems like my world will stop falling apart. This must be a perfect world. Cause in any other, this could never happen. I won't have to pray anymore for a miracle to make it through. Without you I just can't find my way.

Why does it have to hurt… for every lesson you have to learn?


	6. Emergency room

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Emergency room #06**  
Song: **Emergency Room Romantic by Jamison Parker**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Ruki x Reita**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst, fluff, romance  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Language**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** 'Why did our romance end up in the emergency room?'**  
Comments: **Sorry for this. I haven't been writing anything lately. Lol. Well.. It happens. And, the song and this fic, aren't they kind of opposites? I don't know.. Anyway, I know the ending is lame, but please read and comment! Ugh, how come I'm writing fluff, it makes me cry, lol.

It was a mess that greeted the three panting men when they reached the emergency room. White halls. That disgusting smell you can only find in hospitals. The box above the double door were lit. a nerve wrecking red light glowing intensely. Telling them something was going on there.

"Ruki.." Drummer finally spoke up. Rushing to the weeping man's side. Falling down on his knees. Letting his arms wrap around the red head's waist. Burrowing his head in the smaller man's lap. Tears welling up in his own eyes.

Two guitarists quietly sat down on each side of Ruki. Grabbing his hand. Entwining them together.

Hours passed. Or was it even hours? Maybe it was just one of those times when each minute felt like a miserable hour. Vocalist eyes fixed on the glowing red light. Kai had gotten up from his position on the floor. Seated beside a honey blonde. Leaning on him. His head tiredly on the elder's shoulder. Eyes closed and fingers impatiently tapping on the thigh. Uruha's arm around the leaders waist, rubbing circles in a soothing manner. Aoi lied sprawled on the bench. Eyes closed. Praying for a miracle.

Four hours and 33 minutes later to be exact. Since the ambulance pulled up outside. And hospital doors were pushed open. Doctors came running with nurses right behind. Shouts and orders were thrown around. Ruki stumbled after. Eyes blurred by falling tears and shock written all over his face. Not understanding a thing. He just followed wherever they took the other. All he knew was that this was a critical situation. Where each damn second counted for the difference of Life and Death. Fast steps after white coats and difficult words. Until door were smacked shut in his face and denied access to that room. Screaming at the poor nurse who stayed calm nontheless. Telling him this and that he can't remember. Making him sit down. She sat down too. Gripped his hand. For some minutes and then she left him to himself.

Four hours and 15 minutes since the young man had managed to dial and tell everyone to get their ass down there. Reita has just been hit by a speeding car.

'Why did our romance end up in the emergency room?'

One day after. The red head sat beside a certain someone's hospital bed. Peeling an apple. Carefully slicing it to even pieces. Put them on a plate. Placing it on the table. He reached out for one and put it up to the blondes mouth. Who gladly opened it and accepted. Munching happily.

Glancing up on the vocalist. Swollen eyes and pale face. His heart sank.

"I'm sorry, Ruki. You must have worried. I'm sorry I only remind you of all you hate. Pain, sorrow and angst. I'm sorry..." His choked whisper was heard clearly in the quiet room. The disgusting white room with that overwhelming stench of hospital. Sickness and death.

The younger stared blankly at the hurt man. Feeling a slight sting in his heart. Word piercing him dagger sharp. Gulping down the forming lump in his soar throat. Letting tears fall, again. Getting up, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Hand reached out and caressed the hospitalized man's cheek.

"I know I'm the one to blame for this. All the pain you go through, I'm sorry." Glistening tears in the corner of his eyes.

"I won't lie. I was scared to death. Terrified. And it was painful. Hurting and making me cry. But that's just how much I love you, Akira. When the time is out and you die before me, it's going to suck. Misery will be all I feel. I'm going to miss you. But now when you are alive. Breathing. Smiling. Laughing. Talking to me. Touching me. That makes me happy. It makes it all worth it. I love you, Suzuki Akira." Leaning over. Putting all his love and everything into the passionate, gentle chaste kiss.

Loneliness and nervous laugh. What they call misery through anxious eyes is something we'll never understand.

"I love you too!"


	7. Death is calling my name

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Death is calling my name #07**  
Song: **Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Ruki x Reita**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter who they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Non-existing. **  
Comments: **Sorry, this is yet another Reituki fic. Next one, I promise, is another pairing (bitter smile).Okay, this song just sparks something weird within me. But this is what came to mind as this song was the one I got when pressing 'next' in shuffle mood (shrugs). And my inspiration got the better of me and this is what I came up with. Sorry. It's probably really confusing. Very pointless and makes no sense… So tell me, dear reader, did you get what I was trying to convey with this? Comments are the purest love! (it makes sense and it has no sense at all)

If only you would let go of me I could let go of myself. Erase the pain that has built up inside of me. Let Death claim me. Then it will all be gone.

All I ever wanted was a place where I belong. Some place for me to return to. Always. A place that will remain no matter what. Where I could hide my tears so I would be able to show you my strength. Not pour my weaknesses upon you.

All I can do is speak pretty words. But that is all. Maybe you don't know their meaning. I cannot show it by actions. That is impossible to me. So I put it in my lyrics. I spill my hear on a piece of paper for me to later scream my lungs out in order for it to have any meaning. Singing it to the world. It's all for you. Pain of my longing. Suffering of 'what if's'. tears of farewells bound to come. Saying it all with a song that soon will fade away.

My songs are my purest hope. For things to never happen. Like your lips on mine in a soft kiss of farewell. If it's going to happen. Please don't kiss me again.

There's so many things for me to fear. Like the day approaching where hell will descend upon me. And tear everything I have to the ground and step all over it.

I hope I'll never have to be faced with your back as you walk away. While the earth restrains me from running after you. The grip never letting go. Just becoming firmer by the second. And the seconds fly by. While the minutes never seem to come. The days are long and hours never seemed to pass. But before you know it it's the end of the month. Suddenly it's a new year.

It's your retrieving back. Walking off as I am left. Plunging to the darkness. A hollow room where my sanity used to rule. Walls made up of despair. A place where I exist in confide solitude. Lonesome and suffering.

I want to walk towards the voice that has been calling my name for so long inside my head.

All I ever wanted was somewhere I belong.

So let me go. He's calling my name. I've heard his faint whisper since my birth, only getting louder until it screams for me now. It's Death calling my name.

"Takanori. Takanori."

It goes on chiming. Longing to go there. I want to leave. Seep out of this life. Not existing. Leaving the pain behind as I drift within. Where I don't exist. You don't exist. This place where we're all non-existing.

Ask this voice that screams to shut up. But as soon as I find it, it will be the end.

Death's sharp and blood stained blade is pressed against my neck. Death's eyes staring into mine. Never leaving. I am blind. But the pain is gone.

I've found myself. A place where I belong.

In a black suit with a not so matching tear stained face. Staring down into the casket. You lean down. Hovering above. As that I always feared came. A kiss of farewell and forever sweet dreams.

My heart aches in this place of non-existing.

The cold blade of Death pressed against my neck. And I feel no liberty. I don't feel at ease. An aching heart I hoped would stop. Just aches even more.

And then, it's the end. End of my pain. End of my life. Dying at an early age. All the things I'll never experience. Or the people I won't meet. Facing towards your back. Or receiving a goodbye kiss. Your heart warming laugh shall never fill me up again. Strong hands cup my face. Long arms wrap around me. I'll never hurt you again. You can't hurt me.

This is for the best, right? I believe. So you believe too. And then. Nothing is anything anymore. I don't feel regret, happiness or sadness. Cause it's all gone. For I am with Death.

Non-existing.


	8. Chocolate treat

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Chocolate treat #08**  
Song: **Johanna Och Sven by Björn Rosenström**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette, Sadie**  
Pairing:** Reita x Aki**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Fluff, humour  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Language, man on man, unbetaed**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** "Chocolate for me on valentines day... That's so cute, Rei-chan, honey ~~ !"**  
Comments: **For valentines day. I know it sucks. And I know it's cheesy. But. Yeah. I don't know what to say. But please, comment anyway!!!

"I did it!" Reita exclaimed happily as he happily shoved the cake form into the stove and shut the door. Bended over, he stared a little through the clear glass. A smile tugged on his lips.

Straightening up, he reached behind his back and untied the knot of the apron that he used like barely once a year. This bassist wasn't actually the one you'd want to cook your food. After countless of accidents and almost food poisoning, Aki had denied him to ever cook again. At least not by himself. Ignoring that, Reita had begged Kai for a recipe for a simple chocolate cake. Though Kai had hesitated, the blonde had been able to pursue the younger.

Pouring a cup of tea for himself he held the warm cup between his hands and walked with slow and steady steps to the couch. Placing his hot liquid on the table before he plumped down. Leaning back into the soft cushions of their black leather sofa. A content sigh left his throat. Leaning forward he took a sip from the tea.

"Rei-chan~~~~!" Someone called in an overly, sickening sweet voice.

Partly choking on his tea. Eyes narrowed at the nickname and the tone the other used to address him. Head coked to the side only to see a tall figure come running from the hallway towards him. The older man gulped, put down his tea. And just as the other was about to throw himself on him... Reita jumped up from his seat. Chuckling in a low, hoarse voice at the young man's bewildered look as he were hugging cushions, and not his lover.

"Why??" Grumbling up to the other. Sitting up. Swinging his legs over the edge. Elbows placed on knees and resting his head in his big hands. Staring up at the other bassist through his black bangs covering his face.

"If you think I'll let you attack me that easily, you've got it all wrong, baby." Laughing his warm laugh as he sat back down beside the other. Reaching once more out for his cup of tea and taking a sip. Spacing out again. Drifting into his own head. Not aware of how Aki eyed him up and down. Lust glistening in his dark orbs. A sly grin appearing on his facial features.

Sliding his arm around the other waist. As casual as if it was nothing. Reita didn't care. Unaware of the others intention. Humming softly as his younger lover started to rub his sides. Softly, gently, in an almost ticklish way. Putting down the now empty cup. Switching on the tv. Flipping through the channels until something caught his eye. He leaned into the other. Pulling his feet up under him. Snuggling closer and humming in appreciating as the other still drew circles on his hip. Slightly glancing to the clock. Registering that in 20 minutes now, the cake would be done. Letting out a relieved sigh, for he had still not fucked up this little cooking project.

One minute or so passed and Aki was making his move. Burying his face in the blonde bassists neck and darting out his tongue. Making the blonde shudder and letting out a surprised whimper. Nibbling a little. The cold of his piercing and the warmth of his tongue. Leaving his mark a little bit everywhere on the pale neck. Grinning at the other as he leaned forward to press his own thin lips on the plump ones of his partner. Moaning as the pierced tongue took control and rubbed against his. Hands clutching on the dark heads shoulders. With force he suddenly pushed him off himself. Panting slightly. With his hand covering his parted lips.

"Oi, Aki! Not now. It's not a good time. Later. Okay? Just, not now.." His voice firm and steady. Contradicting the spark of lust and want and need for the young bassists touch that had been lit. Getting up he was about to leave when slender fingers wrapped around his wrist and pulled him down despite all protests he spat out.

"Akiii… It's not a good time!" Trying desperately. If they started going down this path. With the pace of Aki, they wouldn't be done in just about 15-10 minutes. And the cake couldn't be inside much longer than that. Kai had told he, like a thousand times, remember to take it out in time!

Ignoring all the protests that the other desperately tried to utter. It didn't take many spoken words but a soft whisper. And it didn't take my sensual touches. Before the room was filled with moans, cries, whimper and pleadings for more.

***

Lying on the floor. His chest heaving. Eyes staring straight at nothing at all. Just lazily fixed on the ceiling. Reita sat up from his lying position on the couch. Naked, except for his black, silk boxers. Combing his hand through the mess called his hair. Laughing a soft, satisfied chuckle.

"I never thought it was possible." Aki only grinned up on him as Reita let out a giddy giggle. Eyes lazily half closed.

"….. Reita? What is that smell?" The taller man sniffed.

Eyes shot wide open as the smell of something burnt reached his nose and his minds registered it. Screaming loudly as he jumped over the back of the sofa. Running in the direction of their small kitchen. A cry was heard in the living room.

Getting up. Sadie's bassist jogged lightly over to the sound of painful cries. Met with a pouty man and teary eyes. Holding a cake form with something black inside. Smoke emitting from the unknown subject.

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD TIMING! But oh-no, you just had to do it!" Scowling to his puzzled lover who was still trying to find out what the hell that could be.

"Erm, baby, what is that anyway? Did we not agree for you not to cook again..?" Inching closer for a better view of the mysterious object Reita still held.

"A cake. Can't you see that, baka?!" Growling in a frustrated voice at him. Pissed off. "My gift for you since it's valentines day! Homemade chocolate cake... But now.." Sniffing at the sight in his hands. Narrowing his eyes and glaring daggers into Aki.

"Is that so?! Chocolate for me on valentines day... That's so cute, Rei-chan, honey ~~ !" Giggling after the sickly sweet words dripping of sugar. Taking the form out of his irritated lovers hands. Placing it on the table, he wrapped his long arms around the shorter man and hugged him very tightly. Burying his face in the crook of the pale neck covered with too many love bites. Letting out a muffled giggle as he felt him ease and the hug returned. As if the older man weight nothing, Aki picked him up and started running around in his silky red boxers. Holding the smaller man the princess-style. As a freaky laugh escaped his throat. One round around the living room and into the bedroom. Both laughing like crazy. Falling on their bed. Aki let go of Reita and got back up and ran out of the bedroom again.

"Wait a little!"

Snicker at the other. Who would only act like this in the company of only two. Reita and Aki. In front of others he would always keep his face cool. Lacking of all the expressions the blonde had come to love over the years. Or the energy. How he would go on about everything and nothing really important. How he loved to talk. Just not to anyone else. Yes. It's this cheery and energetic side of Aki he had come to love the most.

Coming back into the bedroom. Shutting the door on the way. He crawled onto the bed and straddled the smiling man. Holding up a bottle of chocolate frosting.

"You were going to give me chocolate today. I know a treat that tastes better than anything else." The sly grin came back as he eyed the other up and down.


	9. Beginning

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Beginning #09**  
Song: **Glove Sex Guy by Björn Rosenström**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette, Sadie**  
Pairing:**Reita x Mizuki **  
Rating:** NC17**  
Genre:** Smut, humour  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Language, lemon**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Nervous and shaky fingers wandered all over his body.**  
Comments: **I'm so sorry everyone. But it had to be written. For sure it sucks, because I am no good with smut. Lol, but even so, the song begged me to write it (giggles). It didn't turn out as I had imagined… But here it goes anyway. Comments please!

Reita lied on his back on his soft bed. Nervous and shaky fingers wandered all over his body. A mouth that lapped and nibbled everywhere it was led. Uncertain and obviously new to all of this.

"This isn't doing anything!" Hoarse and firm voice. Annoyed, the bassist grabbed the guitarist. Tired of waiting. Not really feeling anything from the experimenting hands of his partner.

Shocked, and a little scared. Mizuki stared into Reita's dark eyes. Swallowing the lump in his suddenly dry throat.

"Are you going to do anything? What are you waiting for? This is your last chance. Soon it'll be too late. And then it will be you who'll take it up your ass!" Growling in annoyance. He let go of the younger man.

Waiting. Tired. He grabbed the shoulders again and pressed against him in a forceful and bruising kiss. Lean fingers travelling to the taller man's ass. Which was swapped away. All anxiety now gone.

Didn't take much and all that the poor neighbours could hear were loud moans of passion.

This was only the beginning.


	10. Alive and flying

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Alive and flying #10**  
Song: **I Feel So Alive by Puddle Of Mudd**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Sadie**  
Pairing:** Tsurugi x Mao**  
Rating:** PC15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** But still that line was too easy to cross.**  
Comments: **Ahhh, I've been sick for two days. Or, not sick-sick. But I felt like throwing up all the time (shudders). Nasty feeling. But I'm over it now. Oh, so this is number 10. Please comment! By the way, the things written in _italic_, is Tsurugi's letter for Mao.

Standing on top of the roof to a high building. Which name he could no longer remember. Or perhaps never knew. But it was high. Up in the sky. With a perfect view of the city's busy streets. And that was all that mattered. The height.

"_What we had, I never took for granted. I was happy for every breath I took."_

The tall man had put his hand on his hip. Locking his foot in a very feminine manner. Standing at the edge. Eyes wandering over the buildings and all the people like black spots hurrying off to wherever their destination may be. For whatever purpose they had in mind. It was the edge of the building. Edge of his sanity.

"_My eyes are always fixed on you. When I close them, there's always an image of your face with the warmest and most genuine smile behind my closed eyelids."_

Climbing over the railing. Which was supposed to be a safety line. But still that line was too easy to cross.

"_I loved you."_

Tsurugi's POV

I love you. I love you, but… For the very first time I feel alive. I stand here and look down. It's like an endless pit. Though I know it isn't. The ground is there. Even this far away. Once you smash into it, you've found your end.

I've always been afraid of heights, you know. But acrophobia is not the fear of being above the ground. But that you are afraid you'll jump.

In the end. As inevitable as it was. I took that last step. I acted upon my fear. Now I fall. The air hitting my face and clothed body feels.. refreshing. Feels like I can fly.

"_Everyday is a new day, Mao._

_Sayonara."_


	11. Love like hate

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Love like hate #11**  
Song: **Anyone, Anyone by Dashboard Confessional**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Alice Nine**  
Pairing:** Hiroto x Tora**  
Rating:** Angst**  
Genre:** PG13  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** I want to hate you too.**  
Comments: **Err.. weird, short, and yeah. But that's what came to mind. Please comment !

Hiroto's POV

You told me to move on. But how could I? My love isn't all that shallow. But just as I was about to stare right at you, when I opened my eyes, all I saw was your back. Running away from me. Faster. Further. Running to places I had never been to. Places I had never seen.

And I tried my best. I ran and ran. Until I was out of breath. But there was no way I could catch up. My feet got tired. At that time. I guess I wasn't as strong as you. As scared. Or had willpower strong like yours. I just didn't match up.

Though. I am still running. I'll surely catch up. I screamed your name til my voice got hoarse. Throat sore. Silenced by the wind. And you never turned around.

I hate this season. I want to hate you too. Hate, hate, hate. But I have never been able to change the feeling you left in my heart. This simple. Confusing. Cold. Heartbreaking feeling called love.

Spring came again. Nothing changed and nothing came.


	12. Hope

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Hope #12**  
Song: **I Changed My Name by Sugarcult**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Character****:** Ruki**  
Rating:** PG13**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** I know nothing will come of it.**  
Comments: **Just go with it, lol. And please comment!

Every time. Before I fall asleep. I bury my head in my pillow. And scream at the top of my lungs for a miracle to happen. Twenty years have it been. Since I was seven years old. And I still do it. Because. You know, I've begged with everything I have. But there never was a miracle that could exist. I know. I know that. Still. I can't stop screaming for it.

Tears falling down my cheeks. Wets my pillow. But I just press my face harder against it. Curl my toes. Dig my nails into the mattress. And I scream. For a miracle to free me from this hateful place.

I know nothing will come of it. But I still hope. And hope. As I scream my pain to sleep.

Hope. The only thing they couldn't rip from my soul.


	13. Marks

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Marks #13**  
Song: **Your Own Disaster by Taking Back Sunday**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Miyavi (solo), Dir En Grey**  
Pairing:** Miyavi x Kyo**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Just a few of the many things that blocks your mind.**  
Comments:** Came to me walking home, again (chuckles). Been a log time since I wrote on this project. Cause I started Blank sheets. So yeah. Well. Also, I think I am going a bit back to my preferable writing style, with few people and not having to mention names. I just love to write that way somewhat. Anyway. Hope you'll enjoy this one and comment ! Btw, all I write is weird lately (huffs)...

I'm just one of the many cuts and scars adorned upon your chest. Just another something cluttering up your show.

You deny me all in one breathe. A hand trembling on your rather broad shoulder. Desperately trying to pull you back. But you shrug it off. Stalking back to your apartment of the darkest solitude one can find. Easily, without a second thought I am left behind. Like I did not exist in your life. _We_ never were. Just a few of the many things that blocks your mind. Something vulnerable and fragile. Without a problem you discard of me. Of _us_.

I dare you to forget all the mark you've left across my neck. On those nights when we were at our best. Nothing else mattered as I'd whisper sweet "I love you". Your smug grin. Locking lips. Swallowed moans. Slow thrusts. Passionate you showing me your love in the only way you knew how to.

Did you enjoy it? Hurting me. Playing with my deep emotions. Watching tears trail down from harsh words you'd speak. Your mocking laugh. Loud shouts that would send unpleasant shivers down my spine. Twisted soul, did you enjoy my distorted expressions and choked voice? Was it as much fun for you as it was painful for me? Fucked up mind, and I loved that. Still do.

It's not so simple to forget how my candy sweet love turned to daggers shredding all that I am.

And all the things I'll never know. Like how you were only afraid. Or how you broke down as soon as your front door was locked. On your hands and knees. In the confinement of what you called home. Sobbing 'sorry' along with my name. Like the thoughts of past mistakes haunted you. All you could never speak of. How painful each breathe you took stung so gracefully in your capable lungs. Suffering just cause you were alive.

I never knew. Will never know. Cause you never told me.

I don't think you know what you've been missing as you sink deeper downwards in your pool of ancient memories. Things that don't matter.

I never got to know.

All you left were painful marks across my neck. All I'd give to just forget.


	14. Filthy pure

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Filthy pure #14**  
Song: **Wash Away Those Years by Creed**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Reita x Kai**  
Rating:** PG15**  
Genre:** Angst**  
Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Rape**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary: **What's the use? When his soul has been tainted...**  
Comments: **Erm, yes. Was on the bus when I figured that I might as well write some more for this project. And fuck, my handwriting is too sloppy for its own good. Comments are loved!

On the dirty ground. He lies, not shedding any tears. Filthy as the street he lies lifeless on. Broken and left alone under a cloudy sky of darkness. Innocent stolen and nothing's really left. Pants discarded and boxers dirtied halfway down his sore ass. Shirt ripped open. Missing just about every button. Eyes are blank. Nails broken and dirt underneath. Bleeding lip, abused by his own teeth. Random violence raped him. And now he can't find any reasons to get up. Try to clean up his appearance. What's the use? When his soul has been tainted...

Years have passed since that incident when he was young. Unable to forget. It has shaped his once so beautiful mind. With images and thoughts as awful as that shit filled night.

Months ago, his cheery drummer confessed of feelings harboured in his young heart. His pure, untainted heart. Opposite of himself. The filthy man that they made him. Scared and always looking over his shoulder.

Pain stinging inside, fearfully he rejected. Heart unstable. Unable to love. Unsure he ever could love the brunette, or anyone, like they deserved to be loved. Imagining he had no right to be loved. A person unworthy of something that pure.

The young man had not become distant. Or treated him any differently than he had before. For that, the blonde was relieved.

Once locked up in emptiness of solitude his apartment consisted of. Curtains always pulled shut. Little furniture. Neatly putting his things away all the times he returned. Night closed in and he'd drop half naked on his bed. Closing his eyes. Just imagining everything's alright. He could not hide these tears streaming freely. Too tired, too hurt, to even try. Cause they were sent to wash away all those years.

Every night was a copy of the former.

Skin had gotten sensitive from years of horrid scrubbing. Every single time. Inside the shower. He'd feel the bruises returning. Marks spread across pale skin. Dirt, alcohol, spit, semen, memories and what not stuck to his body making him scrub, claw and break up the skin until he fell to weary knees. A sobbing mess in the stream of hot water. Soaking his naked body, wet hair clinging to his face, water creating a stinging pain as it trailed over self abused marks.

Each shower was a copy of the last.

Day afterwards he'd come to band practice. In a tank top. Not bothering anymore to hide it. Even though it was like this all the time. They'd all become concerned, shooting the exact same questions that he'd casually shrug off. Only causing more worry.

But there's only so much one man can take.

So one bright lit morning. Early and the sun had just peeked out. Soft knocks brought a sleeping man out of his peaceful rest. Sluggishly he pulled on sky blue boxers before trailing down to his front door. Unlocking it he softly pushed it open to reveal a certain bassist who always sent his heart racing an endless marathon. Eyes widened. But before he could say anything the intruder of his sleep started to softly call the others birth name repeatedly.

Eyes visibly sad. Kai opened the door wider to let him in. A hand gesture. No words needed. Well inside, the door got closed and locked. Making their way inside. Sitting on the couch. Reita hung his head. Intensely staring at the floor. Kai pulled his own feet under him to sit directly faced towards the bassist. Waiting patiently for the words to come.

Lifting his head. Cocking it to the side. Only to lock tearful eyes with strong clear ones. Whispering softly. He told his story. Of how he had been wronged.

At the end. Hugs were given. Soothing words spoken. Amongst his affectionate shower came something he'd never thought could be possible. A confession of love and words of how it wasn't possible because he was undeserving and unable to love. What was this inside of him? Struggle within self. Hands firmly clutching bare shoulders. He just got pressed closer to the drummer's naked chest. Whispering his own words of love countless times in Reita's ear.

"I'll make you forget. Don't you ever say again that you're undeserving of my love. And never say that I can't have yours. I'm vulnerable. Just as you are. But together we'll wash away those years."

If there's someone to break one, there's sure to be someone to heal that broken one too. I guess it's to keep balance. Someone to mend what other damage.

**A/N:** OMG! I gang-raped my poor Reita-muse T_T


	15. Up against the wall

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Up against the wall #15**  
Song: **In The Bathroom Is Where I Want You by Nightmare Of You**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Reita x Kai**  
Rating:** NC17**  
Genre:** Smut  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Man x man love**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Two people occupying it in a way it was not made to be used.**  
Comments: **This is my first attempt on smut. It such very badly if I can say so myself... Comments are loved!

A rather public bathroom. Where just about anyone could walk in anytime soon. In a small stall. Two people occupying it in a way it was not made to be used.

Heavy breathing. Cut off panting. Fighting for dominance. Lusty kisses of burning passion. Tongues battling their own game. As the blonde got slammed into the graffiti wall. Before he pushed the fiercely brunette against the opposite wall.

Among pushes and kisses and inappropriate groping. Buttons were undone and shirts pulled up. Revealing their smooth, creamy and well trained naked chests. Belts unbuckled and after much fighting and little resistance of the others touch, pants got unzipped. Arousals rubbing against each other. Creating sparks and delicious friction.

The drummer had enough of foreplay. Groaning, impatience growing, and self control snapped. Rough hands grabbed slender hips. Yanked his lover up. Making him hook legs around his waist. His pants had unknowingly been discarded at some point.

For the last time he slammed the bassist against the cubicle wall. Getting even more excited seeing the others body so exposed, needy, lustful and passionate in this tacky place only proceeded to excite him further.

Unprepared, without a warning, pushing into the awaiting man. Restrain impossible, he let out a strangled cry. Uncaring of whoever may hear.

Immediately a fast, hard pace was set. Slightly shifting angles in search of _that_ spot. Which would make his man squirm in pleasure. Letting out the most beautiful sounds. Moaning _his_ name. Nails dug into the brunettes shoulders and he knew he'd hit the sweet spot of nerves.

Smirking slyly at the beauty he held up. Desperately clutching at the hips. Thrusting faster, erratically as he got closer. Hitting the prostate dead on each time.

One hand left slightly bruised hip. Gripping the neglected erection. Pumping in time, fast like his hips bucking up.

Closing in. Yet another kiss was shared. Deep, and Reita delved his tongue in the warm cave. Taking control. They kept a neutral balance. Never completely all the way submitting, as the other never was totally dominating. Swallowing each moans. Sucking, pumping, thrusting. It all was bringing both closer. Letting go of swollen lips. Kai bit down on the tempting neck. Tongue lapping soothingly over his soft abuse. Reita let it all go and released over Kai's hand, on their abdomens. Clamping on Kai's member as his orgasm rode out. Pushed the drummer over his edge and on a heavenly cloud as he buried himself deep, deep inside. Sheathing the inside of the other with his hot cum.

Just as he had done hundreds of times before. Dancing in wistful heat with his lover. An act of love only between two.

**A/N:** I rest my case (cries). That this is probably the worst smut you've ever read (runs away crying)...


	16. Insomnia

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Insomnia#16**  
Song: **Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Sadie**  
Pairing:** Mizuki x Aki**  
Rating:** PG13**  
Genre:** Romance  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Were you are awakened from your dreams.**  
Comments: **I want to write, and I don't have any strength to write… Something's telling me there might be a while until I again write on this project. I need to regain my strength ~~ Comments are love!

I blink my eyes to adjust to the dim lit room. It's in the middle of the night and I can not sleep. Abruptly awoken from a dream I can no longer remember.

Seeking comfort, I turn around just to be faced by your sleeping back.

To myself I think how unfair it is that you never have times like this. Were you are awakened from your dreams. Or just suffering from insomnia. No. You have a perfect sleeping heart. Always sound...

My heart jumps. Beating furiously as you roll over. Peacefully sleeping. Facing myself. Your adorable handsome face always succeed in sending my heart racing like a maniac.

Your breath is even. And barely noticeable. Like many times before. I wonder if you're alive or not...

My silly thoughts make me chuckle like many times before. Of course you're alive...

Sleepily I stretch. Yawning. I softly snuggle into your naked chest. I love to sleep next to you. Finding your warmth on cold nights when I can't sleep. Calming and it ease my troubled mind.

Wanting more and more, I wrap my arms around your naked waist. The slight skin contact makes my breath hitch and my body shiver. It's exciting. Intimacy with you is always exciting.

How I wish you sometimes would be in my position. Seeking comfort in my sleeping self on nights that won't allow you to sleep. That you hold onto me like I do to you, like now, this very instant. That your heart flutter and puts your chaotic head at rest. Snuggling closer and closer, wanting more and more of my love, just drifting back to sleep. As I do now...

Oh, how I love to sleep next to you, Aki...


	17. The end

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** The end #17**  
Song: **Winter by Tori Amos**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Miyavi, The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Miyavi x Aoi**  
Rating:** PG13**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **None**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Between it all is only choking silence.**  
Comments: **It's weird about what a song can do, how it inspires you. Seems to me like it triggers various of things inside me, all in all it never ends with what I think it was going to be. Comments are love!

Miyavi's POV

I think winter is the best season to compare our relationship with. It's as cold as the snow piling up. As depressing like each cold winter night engulfed in darkness and all light out of sight, out of mind. And our passion has ended like every snowstorm must. We've reached a dead end. My once passionate flame has gone out. Nothing can make us love again.

There's sex, but no love making. There's closeness, but no intimacy. There are spoken words, but no conversations. There are screams, but no caring whispers to balance it. There's anger, but where did our love go?

Between it all is only choking silence. Like you're underwater. Drowning. Screaming. But no one hear you. Cause each time your mouth opens, water fills it, muffles each attempt. There's only silence. And it's awkward.

I miss how it used to be...

"Let's break up."

"It's for the best."

Doesn't really matter who spoke which sentence. Because we're both thinking the same. And there's nothing that can change the way it's become anyway.

And then he left. Just like that. We spoke our sentences and that was it. Now we're nothing anymore. Were we ever anything at all?

I miss those dream like days.

Once upon a time when we were happy.


	18. Dream

**Project: **49 song inspirations**  
Title:** Dream #18**  
Song: **No Aphrodisiac by The Whitlams**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** Miyavi, The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Miyavi x Ruki**  
Rating:** NC 17**  
Genre:** Romance  
**Chapters:** one shot / drabble**  
Warning: **Cursing**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone at all. No matter whom they are or where they are.**  
Summary:** Something between a minute and five pass. Before I force myself to wriggle out of the embrace.**  
Comments: **This one I find weird.. I don't know what's about it, but it's just weird. Simple and plain. But I still love comments!

Ruki's POV

Alone with a bottle of wine. A few glasses. And there you are. Like always, greeting me with your sexy smirk. You're so real in my dreams. Fantasies. I welcome you with open arms. Along with my sweetest voice, I whisper three words I only tell you.

"I love you."

Miyavi's POV

Like each Saturday night I get a call from my drunken... friend. Like an obedient dog I run at his call.

Like so many nights he opens his arms, whisper "I love you". As if he was greeting his lover. His cutest smile adorns his facial features. Adorable like a dream.

I walk into his invitation. Arms around his waist. Immediately sneaking under the worn out t-shirt. Rubbing his lower back. Caressing his body. Kissing down his neck. Until he predictably let's out his shy moans. Crashing his lips on mine. Just like every Saturday night. The same thing goes down. And no matter how many times we do it. He keeps enchanting me with each flutter of his eyes, flick of hair, scratch on my back, and each sound like a melody of our dreamy love.

Hurriedly I will undress him. Kiss him. Touch him. Each thrust harsh, rough, and fast. But even in this hurry, I never forget to put my love into every move.

It's over too soon for my liking. But it can't be anything more. Because this is his sweet dream. It has to end before he awakes.

What would happen if he awoke to this? To me? It would be the end, I'm sure...

Something between a minute and five, pass by. Before I force myself to wriggle out of the embrace. Pull on my pants and shirt. Tuck you in properly. Making sure everything is clean and no evidence of reality is left. Then I...

"If only he liked me... if only he confessed.. then we could… Miyavi......"

Mumbling words broke my thoughts. Even as low and broken as it was, I heard it clearly. Cause all alone with him sleeping. Silence is all I find.

Normal POV

A normal day like any other. Outside of the PSC building sat a short vocalist on a lonely bench. Taking slow drags of his cigarette. Eyes shut close. It was a sunny Monday morning. The sun shared its warm rays of light. Making him feel comfortable as he sat there.

Little did he know that a certain energetic man was looking for him.

When he finally found the other. He had the biggest smile he'd ever seen on the taller. Standing in front of the confused vocalist. He reached out his hand holding a single flower.

"I love you."

Is all he said. He didn't start to cry from the words he had heard. Or got angry. Didn't say anything. He only stared longingly at this man. He didn't say a thing. He just got... happy.

And those dreams each Saturday night disappeared. For they were replaced by the reality he now embraced.


End file.
